Death of a Loved One

 

People get hurt

 

When they’re not told the truth

 

When the facts are withheld

 

They’re left out of the loop

 

 

 

Not to be thought of

 

Inflicts greater pain

 

Than even hate

 

 

 

Especially within family

 

It feels like shame

 

To be left out

 

 

 

A life once shared

 

Since extinguished

 

Over a month ago

 

Without being told

 

 

 

If I’d known

 

If I’d known where he lived

 

While he did

 

I could have called

 

 

 

But I wasn’t part

 

Of my family

 

I would have liked to talk to him

 

I would have liked to have known

 

 

 

I kept the channels open

 

Or so I’d thought

 

They never said he’d moved back

 

They never said he was sick again

 

 

 

How do you write to your family

 

And talk about everything but

 

What’s important?

 

 

 

Was it intentional?

 

They didn’t want me to know?

 

I wasn’t considered close?

 

I didn’t deserve to be told?

 

 

 

If there’d been no communication

 

A lot could simply be unexplained

 

But I received false communication

 

A big lie now causing such pain

 

 

 

So I won’t try it again

 

They’re intentions are clear

 

I’m nothing to them

 

 

 

Loveless family is the most painful of all

 

It comes at me from all directions

 

The connections tenuous and strained

 

Though I’ve tried to keep the channels open

 

 

 

I have four family members by blood

 

There are no others anymore

 

And those who have dissed me need come no closer

 

There’s no answer for them at my door

 

 

 

I know he never forgot me

 

I don’t know why they pushed me aside

 

But I’m tired of those who verbally espouse “Christian” values

 

For show, for ego, for pride

 

 

 

I’m hurting

 

I’m forgotten

 

I’m not wanted in their lives

 

 

 

If love was ever there

 

It had only to be expressed

 

If only anyone had cared

 

 

 

People get hurt

 

And never recover

 

The relationships denied them

 

 

 

I grieve for the deaths

 

Of all involved—

 

Every one of them

 

 

 

Family meant a lot to me

 

Because it was preciously scarce

 

Family means nothing to shallow people

 

Who don’t reach beyond themselves

 

 

 

No one wants to be the one left out

 

No one wants to be forgotten

 

No one wants to be lied about behind their back

 

And know it’s a loveless marking

 

 

 

Life seems to me now to be a pattern

 

Of being forgotten and unwanted

 

But patterns persist where still is doubt

 

I’d hoped to be remembered

 

 

 

Maybe even loved

 

Doesn’t look like it’s to turn out

 

I’d have to have loving people who care

 

Four family members left

 

 

 

When I die will my friends be told?

 

Will anyone want to know?

 

If so, will they be blown off

 

Like they aren’t even loved?

 

 

 

People get hurt

 

By not being told

 

 

 

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