Death of a Loved One


People get hurt


When they’re not told the truth


When the facts are withheld


They’re left out of the loop




Not to be thought of


Inflicts greater pain


Than even hate




Especially within family


It feels like shame


To be left out




A life once shared


Since extinguished


Over a month ago


Without being told




If I’d known


If I’d known where he lived


While he did


I could have called




But I wasn’t part


Of my family


I would have liked to talk to him


I would have liked to have known




I kept the channels open


Or so I’d thought


They never said he’d moved back


They never said he was sick again




How do you write to your family


And talk about everything but


What’s important?




Was it intentional?


They didn’t want me to know?


I wasn’t considered close?


I didn’t deserve to be told?




If there’d been no communication


A lot could simply be unexplained


But I received false communication


A big lie now causing such pain




So I won’t try it again


They’re intentions are clear


I’m nothing to them




Loveless family is the most painful of all


It comes at me from all directions


The connections tenuous and strained


Though I’ve tried to keep the channels open




I have four family members by blood


There are no others anymore


And those who have dissed me need come no closer


There’s no answer for them at my door




I know he never forgot me


I don’t know why they pushed me aside


But I’m tired of those who verbally espouse “Christian” values


For show, for ego, for pride




I’m hurting


I’m forgotten


I’m not wanted in their lives




If love was ever there


It had only to be expressed


If only anyone had cared




People get hurt


And never recover


The relationships denied them




I grieve for the deaths


Of all involved—


Every one of them




Family meant a lot to me


Because it was preciously scarce


Family means nothing to shallow people


Who don’t reach beyond themselves




No one wants to be the one left out


No one wants to be forgotten


No one wants to be lied about behind their back


And know it’s a loveless marking




Life seems to me now to be a pattern


Of being forgotten and unwanted


But patterns persist where still is doubt


I’d hoped to be remembered




Maybe even loved


Doesn’t look like it’s to turn out


I’d have to have loving people who care


Four family members left




When I die will my friends be told?


Will anyone want to know?


If so, will they be blown off


Like they aren’t even loved?




People get hurt


By not being told





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